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Andy Borowitz jokes that the White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is organizing a "Million Liars March" to support the White House's departing communications director, Hope Hicks. [Read More]
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Sunday will be a great day to be outdoors for an Easter egg hunt! Expect sunshine and temps in the 60s and 70s throughout the Southland. [Read More]
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New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) on Saturday announced the passage of legislation that would strip all firearms from New Yorkers convicted of domestic violence, updating a previous law that prohibited abusers from owning ha... [Read More]
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Michigan beat Loyola-Chicago 69-57 on Saturday night. [Read More]
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Rachel Maddow shares new reporting that Robert Mueller's investigation includes looking at Jeff Sessions contacts with Russians, while at the same time, Sessions is sending investigators to look at the conduct of the Trump Russia investigation. [Read More]
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NEW YORK—According to a new study published Thursday in the journal Modern Parenting: Principles And Practice, the act of forcibly spanking one's children is not only 100 percent effective but also incredibly fun. "After months spent watching parents discipline their kids aged 2-8 years, we found that nothing is quite as enjoyable or cathartic for them as laying their son or daughter over one knee and whaling on them for a while," said lead researcher Dr. Amie Tapplemore, who recorded large spikes in the parents' dopamine levels with each successive blow regardless of whether they used their hand, a... [Read More]
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America's Finest News Source... [Read More]
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WHITE PLAINS, NY—Acknowledging the insensitivity of its recent "Lighter Is Better" TV campaign and promising to do better in the future, beer manufacturer Heineken apologized for airing a racist ad Thursday by launching a limited-release "Blacks Only" beer. "We at Heineken want to reach out and apologize to our African-American customers by introducing a special-edition line of 'Blacks Only' low-calorie lagers," said Heineken spokesperson Cara Jarvis, who divulged that the new beer will be available at clearly labeled "Blacks Only" taps and store displays conveniently placed separately from, but priced equally to, its other available beers. "It was never... [Read More]
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VATICAN CITY—In an effort to make the holiday as stress-free as possible for everyone, Pope Francis asked congregants gathered at St. Peter's Basilica Thursday if it would be okay to just do a low-key Easter this year. "I know we usually get dressed up and make a big deal out of Easter, but wouldn't it be nice if just this once we had one laid-back mass on Sunday and then called it a day?" said the Supreme Pontiff, noting that while he loved the tradition, he was completely swamped for most of Lent and did not have much time... [Read More]
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CUPERTINO, CA—Explaining that they took immediate action against what they perceived to be a threat, local police officers repeatedly shot Apple CEO Tim Cook after mistaking an iPhone he was holding for a gun, sources confirmed Thursday. "Law enforcement saw the suspect reach into his pocket and take out what looked like a firearm, and, believing their lives to be in danger, acted quickly to neutralize the assailant," said a spokesman for the Cupertino Sheriff's Office after an officer shot the CEO 18 times in under a minute at a press event for the upcoming iPhone 11. "We received... [Read More]
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America's Finest News Source... [Read More]
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FREMONT COUNTY, CO—Retching in disgust as their excavation revealed the chilling extent of the burial site, geologists from the University of Colorado were reportedly horrified Thursday after uncovering millions of rocks in a sprawling mass grave. "My God, what kind of monster would do something like this?" said lead researcher Charles Watras, wiping a tear from his eye as he surveyed the layers of bleached-white stones spreading out in every direction. "We can only imagine what sort of atrocities were committed here. Certainly, whoever did this had no respect for the basic dignity of rocks. Christ, some of them... [Read More]
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Some teams swagger into the NCAA basketball tournament with the air of royalty. Then there are teams like the Loyola Ramblers, who surprise with their prowess and poise. Today the dream of another national title has faded on Sheridan Road. Sure, it hurts. But Loyola fans, take heart. This was a... [Read More]
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National Rifle Association board member and classic rocker Ted Nugent slammed survivors of the Parkland, Florida, school shooting, calling them "liars" and "poor, mushy-brained children." [Read More]
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A 12-year-old girl from Camden County was found by police more than a day after she went missing. [Read More]
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History.        ... [Read More]
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There was an outburst Saturday during The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' semi-annual General Conference as someone in the crowd yelled "Stop protecting sexual predators." The moment occurred during the Saturday afternoon session as President Dallin H. Oaks, first counselor in the First Presidency, was inviting newly called members of the leadership to take their seats on the podium. As the groups were walking up to take their seats, someone in the crowd shouts:... [Read More]
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'Twitter was fun once – BIG fun. But I'm getting tired of the TROLLS'... [Read More]
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The Harts and at least three of their adopted children were killed after Jennifer Hart drove off a cliff near Highway 1 in the Westport area of Mendocino County on Monday, according to deputies. [Read More]
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