Wednesday, February 24 - 3:16 PM Onion
Emily in Paris producers reportedly flew Hollywood Foreign Press members to Paris for a lavish set visit that included a $1,400-per-night hotel stay, fueling skepticism... [Read More]
Wednesday, February 24 - 1:05 PM Onion
WASHINGTON—Alleging that residents of his home state were just looking for a handout, Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV) claimed Wednesday that West Virginians were too deficient... [Read More]
Wednesday, February 24 - 1:02 PM Onion
The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source. [Read More]
Wednesday, February 24 - 12:55 PM Onion
The French electronic music duo Daft Punk announced their breakup after a massively influential 28-year run. The Onion looks back at the top moments of... [Read More]
Wednesday, February 24 - 8:53 AM Onion
Japan has appointed a "minister of loneliness," a role that aims to reduce social isolation and loneliness among Japan's residents as the country deals with... [Read More]
Tuesday, February 23 - 2:50 PM Onion
WASHINGTON—Refusing to back down from the line of questioning in hopes of getting a detailed answer, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell repeatedly pressed attorney general... [Read More]
Tuesday, February 23 - 2:10 PM Onion
Let's face it, readers, society at large has historically looked down on video gaming. Even as the medium has surged in popularity and esteem, many... [Read More]
Tuesday, February 23 - 1:57 PM Onion
The family of Malcolm X have released a former police officer's written deathbed confession that implicates the NYPD and FBI in the 1965 assassination of... [Read More]
Tuesday, February 23 - 1:20 PM Onion
PERDITION—While admitting that the explanation was not technically true, 943-year-old spirit Brictric of Waddesdon confirmed Tuesday that he had found it simpler to just tell... [Read More]
Tuesday, February 23 - 1:15 PM Onion
DULLES, VA—Bringing the couple's stunning machinations that much closer to realization, Emma Coronel Aispuro—the former beauty queen and wife of notorious drug kingpin "El Chapo"—was... [Read More]
Tuesday, February 23 - 12:55 PM Onion
CARRIZO SPRINGS, TX—In an effort to provide vulnerable youths with a structured, supervised environment, President Joe Biden unveiled a hip teen migrant detainment center Tuesday... [Read More]
Tuesday, February 23 - 11:50 AM Onion
These cookies, made from sesame flour, sesame oil, and topped with sesame seeds, were made as a special fuck you to all the kids out... [Read More]
Tuesday, February 23 - 8:43 AM Onion
Wholesale electricity prices in Texas skyrocketed during last week's severe winter storm, leaving some residents with bills upwards of $5,000 for just five days of... [Read More]
Monday, February 22 - 4:50 PM Onion
NEW ORLEANS—In a controversial call that quickly drew widespread criticism, NBA referee Josh Tiven reportedly ejected the shot clock at the New Orleans Pelicans game... [Read More]
Monday, February 22 - 2:00 PM Onion
PALM BEACH, FL—Seething over the fact he was no longer in the Oval Office as pandemic casualties reached a new milestone, former President Trump expressed... [Read More]
Monday, February 22 - 1:40 PM Onion
PHILADELPHIA—Revealing that the presence of a weapon in the residence was directly linked to higher social standing among one's adolescent peers, a new study released... [Read More]
Monday, February 22 - 1:15 PM Onion
WASHINGTON—Overcome with guilt and grief, Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV) announced Monday that he was reversing his stance on abolishing the filibuster following his son's recent... [Read More]
Monday, February 22 - 1:12 PM Onion
Members of a San Francisco Bay Area school board resigned after a "hot mic" virtual meeting revealed them ridiculing parents, suggesting they wanted to get... [Read More]
Monday, February 22 - 1:05 PM Onion
Organize your books by color with tawny on one end of the spectrum and mocha on the other to make a beautiful brown rainbow. [Read More]
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