Friday, October 15 - 3:15 PM Onion
The FDA has authorized the sale of Vuse Solo e-cigarettes and tobacco-flavored pods, explaining that the benefits for adults trying to quit smoking outweigh the... [Read More]
Friday, October 15 - 3:13 PM Onion
A partially destroyed Banksy painting, Love Is In The Bin, has sold at auction for $25.4 million, more than 18 times what it went for three... [Read More]
Friday, October 15 - 2:20 PM Onion
Over the past several years, interest has grown in investing in companies that meet the guidelines for ESG, or environmental, social, and governance, but in... [Read More]
Friday, October 15 - 1:15 PM Onion
WASHINGTON—Paving the way for the committee to seek criminal charges against the political advisor, former Trump strategist Steve Bannon defied a subpoena from the January... [Read More]
Friday, October 15 - 12:00 PM Onion
For decades, there's been one question that's tortured gamers of all ages and stripes: How did the original team of developers behind Goldeneye 007 make... [Read More]
Friday, October 15 - 11:50 AM Onion
The CIA gained intimate access to your development by detaining your parents at a black site and pretending to be them for decades. [Read More]
Friday, October 15 - 11:15 AM Onion
PR 0201 B—Issuing their latest denunciation in a long string of statements deploring the treatment of living, sentient beings, intergalactic animal rights groups reportedly... [Read More]
Friday, October 15 - 10:04 AM Onion
CHICAGO—Touting the new product as a nourishing and blazing-hot way to give newborns their daily nutrients, Similac introduced a new ghost pepper infant formula this... [Read More]
Friday, October 15 - 10:02 AM Onion
The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source. [Read More]
Friday, October 15 - 8:00 AM Onion
MADISON, NC—Noting that the new formula provides immediate relief to those prone to dry skin, itchiness, or rashes, weapons manufacturer Remington announced a new line... [Read More]
Friday, October 15 - 8:00 AM Onion
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is pushing manufacturers to cut salt levels by an average of 12% in mostly processed and take-out food to... [Read More]
Thursday, October 14 - 2:08 PM Onion
Star Trek actor William Shatner, 90, became the oldest person to ever to reach the edge of space, traveling on the 10-minute Blue Origin commercial... [Read More]
Thursday, October 14 - 1:00 PM Onion
WASHINGTON—Calling the smoldering ruins in downtown Des Moines a potential preview of 2024, pundits theorized Thursday that Donald Trump could be testing the waters for... [Read More]
Thursday, October 14 - 12:00 PM Onion
Taking a $200,000 loan may seem like a great idea, but it ends up that free money sometimes has a catch. Here are things that... [Read More]
Thursday, October 14 - 10:00 AM Onion
U.S. Navy nuclear engineer Jonathan Toebbe and his wife, Diana, were recently charged with selling classified intelligence regarding America's nuclear submarines to an undercover FBI... [Read More]
Thursday, October 14 - 10:00 AM Onion
HOUSTON—Noting that the training mission would provide crucial insight into humanity's potential for interplanetary travel, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration announced Thursday that they... [Read More]
Thursday, October 14 - 8:00 AM Onion
New data shows that 4.3 million people quit jobs in August, about 2.9% of the workforce, driven in part by workers less willing to endure... [Read More]
Wednesday, October 13 - 2:00 PM Onion
Jon Gruden stepped down as the coach of the Las Vegas Raiders football team after detailed emails emerged in which Gruden used misogynistic and homophobic... [Read More]
Wednesday, October 13 - 1:35 PM Onion
DAMASCUS, SYRIA—Reminiscing about the ruthless terrorist organization's humble beginnings, members of the Islamic State recounted to reporters Wednesday how they started out as "just a... [Read More]
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